Tuesday, May 17, 2005

A Champ at Home

Maybe you are wondering what I have been doing these days. It is OK, I know I am not so much the "cock of the walk", as they say, in the year 2005. But my buttocks are still tight and young as my youngest son; I have Gladys rub them for me in the morning, she says it is like a genie's lamp! Haha, I make a joke, but really, my skin is gold...I bought a new oil which is made from flowers that only grow on top of a Tibet mountain taken care of by twenty-five virgins. Hoohoohoo, I would like to put in a lot of Van Dammage round the house, if you know what I mean. I bet Segal is jealous, that poosy.

Anyway, my ladies, I have been very busy having Kristoph trained in the art of karate. The boy is a real wonder, but I worry because he has no interest in ropes or locker room showers. I tell him, it is a ritual, a real father-son time, but the boy refuses and turns down my virgin oils! I hope he is not a nancy-boy, like Segal.

Also, I must keep up with training myself, and my sponsor told me it was good to pick a hobby up, to "clean the spirit." So I have been growing some trees that I think will be very good and useful for Kristoph's training when he stops messing around and says to himself, "I am a beautiful person, and I am ready to fight. To survive." That boy! His head is in the clouds, very high in the air, and not near Tibet mountain tops, either.

I have been busy with Oskar and Duchamp. They have grown so fast since the time I rescued them from a ravine, knocking out the nineteen hunters that surrounded us from the temple tiki hut of shelter. They were so cute, and sometimes I would wake up in the night, and Oskar would be sitting on my chest and my nipple would be so sore. I think they thought I was a mama-cat! So silly, my killers.

I must go, the old lady is going to market, and she never remembers to get my fudge cookies. So simple! The little people make it in the trees. I guess Kristoph would not be interested in that either. Adieu!